Amongst the heavy rains and recent bomb blasts in the city, my mind wanders to issues less spoken of ...small town stories that are quickly forgotten...issues which we push at the back of our minds labeling them as ingrained, clichéd, same thing again etc...
While browsing through the news today for Monsoon update, news of a small time town girl caught my eye. The story talks of a bubbly girl who found love in a marriage arranged by her parents and finally ended her life in distress...very clichéd right?
Excerpts from the story:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sweety’s Diary : How the knot she tied took her life
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sweety’s Diary : How the knot she tied took her life
On June 2, 26-yr-old Asti Shekhar killed herself just three months after her dream marriage to a Wipro techie turned into a nightmare following the revelation of his illicit affair. Asti’s diary which records her travails will be used by the prosecution as evidence in court
By Hemanth Kashyap
Posted On Monday, June 13, 2011 at 10:06:41 AM
Asti Shekhar, a bubbly, educated, enterprising young woman from Bihar got engaged to Sikandar Abhijeet, also from Bihar but working at Wipro in Bangalore, on Jan 23 this year. Life, as she saw it then, had taken on a rosy hue beyond her wildest imagination – a good-looking, loving husband with a nice job, a new comfortable life in a big city, all the other fruits of happy domesticity, leavened by loads of love, to follow... They got married on Feb 27, and in the next three months all her dreams got shattered. On June 2, she hung herself. Her father filed a criminal complaint against Abhijeet on June 4, and a few days later, the police arrested him on charges of death caused by dowry harassment.
The police have a diary purportedly written by Asti, mostly in Hindi but throughout in English script, and which diligently records her thoughts and feelings ever since she first met Abhijeet to her final hours. The diary will be produced in court as evidence by the prosecution.
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This diary gives a day by day version of what innocent Asti went through from a blossoming dream to deep depression and end of life in a span of just three months! This piece of news has invited loads of comments ranging from hatred for Asti's in-laws to RIP messages for her and wishes for a happy life for her in her next birth....
After reading this, I wonder from where do girls like her get this tremendous capacity to bear so much pain and linger in their depressing world and continue loving their husbands and families?
I guess it is the culture, the upbringing and the constant words we hear from our elders that prepare us for the doomed destiny. Be a good wife, a good daughter, selfless mother, obedient daughter in law.....are the words echoed in our minds....Even in Metro dwelling educated families that we come from, haven’t we heard our mothers warning us...don’t take this step, you have to adjust come what may....We have recently witnessed many educated and professional young mothers ending their lives after flinging their kids from building tops...
We speak of India’s growth rate being the fastest in the years to come and one report claims that nothing stops us from being a super power...
But what about our power to think clearly for ourselves, to respect our life more than anything else in this world and leading our lives with a sense of pride?
Do we need to incorporate in our rural development programs where we teach mothers the importance of literacy, basic hygiene and cleanliness and family control measures? The importance of instilling the sense of self respect in young girls and daughters, the assurance that marriage institution is not the last option for a lady... there is life beyond giving and rendering selfless service and love to ones husbands, in laws and kids...
For this change, we will have to lead by examples, ensuring we as mothers, daughters, daughter in laws, wives and mother in laws, respect ourselves and our contribution to the family...our husbands, fathers, in laws and families in turn learn to respect our decisions and viewpoints in family matters.
In the small Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan, I witnessed many families that value, respect and take into account the views and feelings of the ladies in the family. It is a country that measures its progress as Gross National Happiness index and not it terms of GDP. In terms of development, this happy kingdom is far less developed than its gigantic neighbour - India...However, with the philosophy and culture that they have ingrained, I think it will go a long way!
As for we Indians...can we Rest in Peace as yet?
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